by L. Howland
I will no longer tolerate being disappointed.
“Oh, dear people will disappoint you all the time.”
Yes, but I do not have to tolerate it.
For I have promised myself that I will put on my crown and own my kingdom.
I have traveled a long way to find this crown and it was a struggle to take ownership of it.
The road to get here was not easy.
But now that I am here, I will not go back.
I will not be the person who allows lines to be crossed, principles to be ignored and disappointments to mount.
I am tired of being the one to always take the high road, to let things go unnoticed and to thus fail myself.
I am tired of being the broken one, the only one with consequences for their actions.
I am tired of being the only one disappointed.
I am tired of being told to not burn bridges and to give others a second chance.
For you see, I wasn’t the one playing with fire.
I was not the one who lit the match to burn the bridge.
And I am tired of allowing the other person to skip away while I watch it burn with the expectations that I will accept it and be the one to ignore it.
I am tired of their lack of consequences.
My crown is on and I will no longer tolerate it.
I will no longer be the one to bear the burden of someone else’s mistakes.
You will tell me that maybe they didn’t mean to light that match
And, thus you fail to realize that is where the disappointment begins
For they should have known
They should have expected the spark
And if they didn’t then they need not be in my kingdom.
No, I will no longer tolerate it.
That is a promise to myself.
One in which I vowed to be strong and to stop letting others get away with wounding me
Tired of being the one to ignore my pain lest I upset them.
I will from now on stand up for myself.
My crown is on and my head is held high.
I will not stand by and watch the bridge burn.
I am done with being that person.
Someone else can deal with the ashes.
For I am tired of being the one to rebuild.
I am tired of being the one to hold it all together.