The road in front of me

by laurie howland

The road in front of me seems endless
No end in sight
As I look around, I see vast fields of nothingness
Yet I do not feel alone
No loneliness grips my soul
For I am not frightened, worried or anxious
The journey ahead no longer scares me
For the first time, I can close my eyes
And inhale the air around me then release it with a sense of calm
Exhaling all the worries of the past
The past
I reflect on the road I am on
And briefly turn to the see where I have come from
The same road
That seems to go on forever in the opposite direction
But littered with issues
Struggles
The pot holes that made the journey difficult and hard to navigate
I see them, accept them even if I do not like them or wish they hadn’t been there
But now I can turn my back to it all 
And look forward
There was no guidance that go to me to this point
And there will be none as I move forward
I wanted to collapse too many times in the past under the gravity of things. 
Of life
But here I am
On a road that I have no idea where it will lead me
Or where I even want to go
But I am okay with that
I am ready for what this adventure of life has in store for me
I am not naïve to assume it will be easy
But it will be easier
Thought there will be more potholes and storms to struggle through
I am for the first time fully aware of who I am
How all the ups and downs, blind turns and off roading my past has given me
Have led me to who I am at my core
And I like her
I understand her
I respect her
So, I am ready to take the road in front of me
And go where ever it may lead me

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